It’s 4:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep. Most of you know by now that my dear sister-in-law, Leslie, popular writer at A Blonde Ambition, passed away Monday morning. She was born with a congenital heart condition and after the birth of her second daughter, complications arose and it wasn’t meant for her to be healed on this earth.
We are deeply grieving the loss of Leslie and are heartbroken for my sweet brother and their precious daughters. While we cannot understand why she had to leave us so soon, we are so incredibly thankful that her suffering is over. She was so very sick and was in such great pain in her final days. She rarely complained and when she did, she always apologized for doing so. She was the epitome of grace up until the very end. We will miss her desperately.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us during this time. We’ve seen so many people be the hands and feet of Jesus and while I wish we didn’t have to be the recipients of such generosity, we have all truly been touched by the immense prayers and support. It was clear how greatly Leslie was loved and I am sorry for the pain any of you are feeling from her passing as well. Thank you for loving us during this time.
One thing her passing has done has inspired me to make the time for my blog again. Along with Leslie’s illness, our family has endured several other major life happenings since the beginning of 2015 and it has been a HARD year. This was the second death in our family in less than six months. That member of our family was also only in their 30s which is much too young. With all of these things as well as being pregnant and having a newborn, I haven’t had the energy or drive to blog. But Leslie’s death has reminded me in a harsh way that we are not promised tomorrow, and I want these memories of our life recorded. We had the chance to spend the day with Leslie, Stephen and the girls just two days before we lost her. She and I spent some sweet sister time catching up while Zach and Stephen took the older kids swimming. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that would be the last time I saw her alive and got to talk to her and hug her neck. My heart is beyond happy that we had that time together. God knew what He was doing when He made it possible for our visit to work out.
Sweet sister. My heart is aching right now. I am about to go see you for the last time and I'm not sure my heart can handle it. I was talking to Stephen last night, and while choking back tears, he said "she looks good. She looks good." I will carry that memory with me forever because Stephen loved that you loved to get all dolled up and it's only fitting that he make sure your physical body looked good for your last hurrah.
I cannot believe you are gone. Standing in your house yesterday just felt so odd and wrong. I just kept looking around and I could see you there. I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss you. I am sad that I will never again see your name pop up on a text message. I am sad that I will never get to sit around and talk to you about things that we think are dumb. I am sad there are no more shopping trips ahead for us. I am sad we are never going to get to take the sister trip we talked about. I am sad that there are so many times ahead where I know I will miss you so much hurts. I'm just unbelievably sad.
You had truly become another sister to me. The last few months it was so hard to watch you be so sick and in so much pain. I can't imagine the joy you are experiencing today with a healthy heart in the glory of eternal life. Your suffering has ended while ours is just beginning.
You were such a wonderful aunt to my children. I cannot tell you how happy my heart is that you got to meet Grant two days before you left this earth. I know it meant as much to you as well. Ava and Reed absolutely adored you and we will miss your presence in their lives so much. Thank you for all of the special things you have done for them over the years. I promise you that I will do the same for your girls. I will be there for them any time that they need me (and probably even when they don't). I will help Stephen with the things he may not think of, so that the girls don't miss out on anything. And I promise you that they will know how very much you loved them, and what an amazing person you are.
Thank you for being one of my best friends, my sister. You being gone will leave a huge void in my life. Until we meet again. I love you, sis.
A GoFundMe account has been set up for my darling nieces. The money will be used for their college funds and eventually their wedding funds. If you would like to do so, you can make a donation here: