Tuesday, November 17, 2009

And the biting queen strikes again

So, we know all classes have them - you know, that kid that has tantrums and acts poorly at school. I know we all had someone we went to school with and I'm sure that even though they'd never say it, all teachers have those kids that they really wish wouldn't be in their class.

And I'm scared that my daughter may be turning into that kid.


Zach calls me every day after he picks up Ava to give me a report on how she's doing and her day. And he said today that she got in trouble. And not once, but twice. She's a very temperamental child and does not like it when things don't go her way. But who really does? I know that there are sometimes I wish I could just flat out throw a tantrum (and if I'm really honest, there might be times that I do... but only maybe). But, I digress.

Ava got in trouble for biting. She's that kid. And I'm sooooooooooo incredibly upset and frustrated. I know kids go through stages and I know they misbehave but I just don't know what to do regarding this situation anymore! She did it a couple of times a few months ago. And it had gotten better. And I think then it was really more related to the fact that her molars were coming in and her mouth just plain hurt. But then it rared it's ugly head a couple of weeks ago. I was visiting a friend who'd just had a baby and I was holding him and when I got him, Ava saw, got incredibly jealous and walked up AND BIT ME! No lie. She bit me twice on the leg. And I grabbed her little cheeks and looked at her face and told her that we do NOT bite. And that had been the last of it.

Until today. So now she's bitten two kids. And I don't know how to fix this. She's not doing it at home so I don't know how to teach her that this is not ok if she's not doing it around me. I don't want her to keep doing it at school because I don't want her to be the kid that the teachers don't like because she is unruly, and I don't want the parents to not like her because she's biting their kids!

I know that this is totally a phase that many, many kids go through, but it really upsets me because it's my kid that's hurting others! This is NOT OK! Does anyone have any tips on how to get her to stop biting????? And teachers out there - do you have any little kids that act up and do bad things that you still love????? Make a mom feel better please!!

How can this cute little, crooked hat wearing little girl from this morning be so feisty????

Any tips anyone has would be greatly appreciated. I hate having to write about this because I know that no one likes to admit flaws and I hate that anyone might think of Ava as less than sweet - but it's true that she's wild and has a mean temper tantrum and I know that's part of her personality but this is real. This is life at our house and I know I'm not the only mom out there who's felt that way! I asked Ava's pediatrician about this last time we had a check up and he said it is a phase and if a parent got mad at us then oh well. He said he tells indignant parents whose kids are bitten that they will probably be embarrassed the next week because it will be their kid biting. When Ava got bit earlier, I wasn't uspet about the biting - I was just upset that she had gotten in trouble for it but then it was kind of blown off when it happened to her!!!! Anyway, help please???!!!!!! Thanks a ton!


  1. Awww...Sarah, I'm so sorry you're so upset about this. I really dont' have any advice about how to make the biting stop except to wait it out because it is just a phase. I worked in the 2 year old room at a daycare and I LOVED even my biters. They just don't really know any other way to show they're frustrated and they know biting gets attention fast! I think Ava is precious and sweet and I would never think anything else. Kate has a temper too but I think this is a good sign..it means our girls will be determined in achieving their goals. Hang in there and try not to worry too much.

  2. ugh! i hate this for you. my kids were never biters, so i'm not good for any advice in that arena....but, i do happen to have an incredibly strong willed, emotional, and diva like daughter myself! oh, i wish i could tell you it gets better....i'm still waiting for it to! it sounds like you're doing everything within your control to monitor and help with the biting. don't beat yourself up about it....you're probably right, just a phase. but, i have been a parent on the other end of the stick. my kids have all been bit plenty of times. as long as the daycare informed me in the proper way, we just rolled with it. no, i wasn't thrilled, but it is part of a developmental thing kids go through at about that age. after all, chances are, my kids did something to deserve it. lol.

    oh, and some of my absolute FAVORITE students are those that drive me absolutely nuts for one reason or another! and they are the ones who always come back to visit once they're long gone. go figure!

  3. Oh Sarah, I am so sorry. I know how you feel. I feel like CHarlotte is the bad kid a lot too. All I can tell you is to just be consistent. Keep telling her "no" "no biting". Everyone and you are right, it is just a phase. She will outgrow it, you just have to hang in there until she does. I spend most of my life getting through one phase and being consistent with my discipline and then a new phase starts with Charlotte. (Of course, she is different because she is 3 and can be disciplined and sent to time outs). Hang in there. It will end. ((hugs))

  4. do NOT do NOT do NOT beat yourself up over this! you are an incredible mother! and NO parent can prevent stuff like this. i promise it's just a phase ... i even learned that getting my teaching certificate. as long as you're doing what you can to discourage the behavior, it will eventually go away. and anybody who doesn't absolutely adore ava is crazy. i promise you... teachers and childcare workers know this stuff is going to happen ... and anybody who is worth a flip doesn't let it affect how much we love our kids. love on that sweet girl, mom!!!! hope you're feeling better today!!!

  5. Sarah...I am so sad to hear your troubles. I don't have any suggestions for you...but I do know several (3-4) of my kindergarteners that STILL are biting at 5 years old. Can you believe that?

    I know you will get all this solved...Ava is too cute!

    Praying for a quick fix :)

    Lisa :)

  6. Hey Sarah! You know I was in your boat once with Katie. I never figured out a fix. I do remember praying specifically each night for her to NOT bite the next day. She finally got over it. I feel your pain. I was consumed with worrying about it all the time, but it's just one of those things that will work itself out. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. It's not as if you are teaching her that at home! Keep me posted!

  7. Ava is just trying to contain her awesomeness and it is coming out in the form of biting! :o) I don't have much advice since Scarlett just licks everything but I am sure she will bite at some point. I know you are worried, but hang in there momma.


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