I have a bleeding heart. When I hear about someone needing something, I’m often quick to jump in and do what I can. I like doing stuff for people – whether it be taking care of something for them, getting them a surprise gift, sending a note in the mail, generally just doing something that will put a smile on their face! Bear with me here a minute – I’m not just tooting my horn, I have a point.
If someone needs something, I don’t hesitate to ask what I can do. I’ll pray, help in any way I can, whatever they need. But? When the tables are reversed? I have the HARDEST time accepting offers of help, or allowing others to do stuff for me. No joke, when someone offers help, to do something, to buy me lunch, etc, my FIRST response is “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
A couple years ago, when I was pregnant with Reed, I had several friends offer to have showers for us. It was my second child, I didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and my first reply was, “Thank you so much, but it’s really not necessary.”
Around that time I remember listening to this song with the following words
Will you let me be your servant,
Let me be as Christ to you?
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.
So as I listened to those words, I really focused on the last sentence.
Pray that I might have the grace to let you be my servant, too.
So, I started thinking about those times when people offered to do something for me. I know how much I enjoy doing things for others. So maybe, just maybe, those who offer something to me, enjoy doing for others also and really just wanted to do something nice for someone else. And in my denying them the chance to help or do something for me, I was taking away their opportunity to spread Christ’s love. Hello, rude awakening!
So in the time since Reed was born, I’ve been trying to be better about things. I still don’t like to put people out and I still don’t like accepting help, but this past summer when Reed had so many things going on, I had to start accepting help. I didn’t have any choice. My precious, generous friend who has let us stay with them every time we’ve had to go to LR for an appointment brought us both lunch and dinner the day we were in the hospital with Reed for his first surgery. The day we were coming home from his first surgery a dear friend of mine texted me and asked me if she could bring us dinner. Now, I was fully capable of cooking dinner that night. But you know what? I was TIRED. My first instinct was to say, “No, that’s okay, but thank you so much for offering.” Instead, I said “You know what? That would actually be great. Thank you so much!” And when she came that evening, she told me how proud she was of me for accepting the help without arguing. Another friend brought us dinner the week that I went back to work so I could spend the evening just snuggling Reed. With his surgery last week, we were blessed by my friend bringing us lunch again. One of my sweet friends that I’ve gotten to know through blogging and twitter works at ACH and had a shift that night. She texted me and asked me if she could bring us dinner when she came in. Another friend who works there stopped in to see us twice that day. Those are just one of many ways others blessed us during that hard time. I am SO thankful for the people in our lives that do serve us in so many ways. We are SO blessed and that’s why I like to do for others – as a way of giving back.
I write all this to say that I hope, if you are a more apt to do for others than to allow others to do for you, remember it is okay to let someone else serve you. It truly is great to give to others, BUT, don’t rob someone else of their JOY of serving! We truly saw and felt Christ’s loves through so many others helping us while we’ve dealt with Reed’s illness. I’m grateful that He has sent so many people to love us through the hard times.
I am a work in progress in this area and I think my instinct will always be to turn down help, but I’m giving it my best effort to smile, be gracious, say yes and THANK YOU!
7 hours ago