Today I go back to work. Grant is 12 weeks old today and my time at home with him is up. (insert big sob) I have been dreading this day because I don’t want to leave my sweet baby.
I know I am so fortunate that I was able to stay home with him for 12 weeks, as I know not everyone gets to do that. We planned ahead to cover my lost wages and I finally got to have a summer home with my family. For anyone new here, Zach is an administrator at a school and it’s always been hard for me during the summer when he’s been at home with the kids. When I found out I was having Grant, I was so happy that his due date was right around summer break. I had him three days before Zach and the kids got out for summer and I’m back to work three days before they start school. God was incredible to bless me with this time with my family.
While I’m so thankful for my job and all that it makes available for our family, I do wish I could have more time at home with Grant. While it was nice having everyone home this summer, it would have been nice to have some days alone with just Grant. However, I do feel like I have made the most of my time, and held and snuggled him a lot! I just can’t believe how quickly time went. I said the whole time I was off that I wished I had a button that could’ve stopped time. It has been such a precious time that I have positively treasured and I will miss our days at home so much.
I feel like because I have a different level of confidence in my mothering than I did with Ava, and probably even Reed, that I was able to enjoy this time more. I was more laid back and more at ease and I think that helped me to just really soak up this time and embrace it in a way I don’t feel like I did with my other maternity leaves.
Grant is going to a daycare we haven’t used before, so I’m a little anxious about that. I have several friends who use the same place and just rave about it. I’m sure he’ll be well loved and well cared for, but it’s still hard that it won’t be me doing those things. We went to his school on Monday to drop off his supplies and figure out where we would be going so that things go smoothly on Wednesday morning. His teachers seemed so nice and sweet. And he is in a class with very small ratios so I know he’ll get lots of loving attention. I just long for more time with my precious baby boy.
I’m praying it’s a smooth transition back to work for me and that Grant doesn’t have any issues adjusting to his new normal.
So here’s to the start of another chapter for us.
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home when my kids were little but not everyone has that luxury! I was like you though and was so much more relaxed with my third child - I think I had 'matured' and learned to appreciate all those little things so much more and not sweat the unimportant stuff. Each time we start a "new" chapter it is not always easy but God will be there with you - praying your day goes well and goes fast so you can hold your little munchkin!
ReplyDeleteI took 6 weeks with Cohen and 8 with Landry and it just wasn't enough. I don't think any amount would be long enough unless you were staying home for good. I hope you guys have a great day!!
ReplyDeleteHe's just adorable! Ugh, I remember that first day back after leave so clearly. It was SOOO hard but fortunately it gets easier as you know. Wishing you lots of luck on the first day back and that it goes quickly so you can get home to your babies. Always SOOO hard juggling family and a full time job but I completely get it. Hang in there!
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